Reviewing Sooryavanshi before I watch the film

The cumulative effect of the bumper cast, the big-banner backing and the guerrilla marketing that’s gone into Sooryavanshi, will ensure it becomes a blockbuster. Likh ke lelo.

Kabse inn pyaasi theatres pe, blockbusters ki ek boond tak nahi giri. Par, November 5 ko yahan toofaan ayega. Well, technically Sooryavanshi ayega, but you get my filmi enthusiasm. Now, 7 years a film critic, I don’t need to really watch a film to know how it will fare at the box office. Especially given the bumper cast, the big-banner backing and the guerrilla marketing that’s gone into hyping up the phenomenon that Sooryavanshi, now inevitably, will be. Of course, Twitter will snap into two like a KitKat – both halves trending Akshay Kumar for two very different reasons. And then there will be those who will call it ‘vomit’ in the name of creativity. For those and everyone else to see, Sooryavanshi will become a blockbuster. Likh ke lelo.

So now, read on…

Akshay Kumar-starrer Sooryavanshi, directed by Rohit Shetty, with cameos by Ajay Devgn and Ranveer Singh, and co-starring Katrina Kaif, was announced – I don’t even remember when. But it was scheduled to hit theatres on March 24, 2020. Now, we all know how that godforsaken year went. So naturally, it was mere Karan Arjun ayenge-esque intezaar for me and all of us, and finally, one and half years later, it’s time. Phew-phew – that is me whistling like I intend to do in the theatres when I catch the first-day first show.

So Rohit Shetty expands his cop universe with Sooryavanshi, and in a Nick Fury-esque move, he assembles his Avengers – Bajirao Singham (Ajay Devgn) from Singham (2011) and Sangram Bhalerao (Ranveer Singh) in Simmba (2018), and introduces Veer Sooryavanshi (Akshay Kumar), all in Sooryavanshi. 10 years apart, talk about perseverance! Fans expected dhamaka, and dhamaka is what they got when the trailer dropped – many moons ago. Now, I get it, yeh bas trailer hai, aur picture abhi baaki hai. But then if the trailer IS that adrenaline-pumping, the movie will be too, right? Koi shaq?

Now, to the acting. What do we say about Akshay-Ajay-Ranveer’s acting, and most importantly, their comic timing? There’s Akshay’s trademark gum-revealing ear-to-ear grin that’s so endearing, matched with Ranveer’s cute mannerisms and more physical comedy, held together by Ajay’s deadpan humour. Top all that with a generous dose of flying and somersaulting cars, and you have THE PERFECT DIWALI ENTERTAINER we needed to literally resuscitate theatres. What’s not to love?

And now to Rohit Shetty’s direction. Those armchair critics sitting on their high horses – go ahead, call it a high chair, it’s not that I didn’t think it – may call it all the superlative of bad, but Sooryavanshi will rake in the moolah, and then some more. Because Rohit Shetty stuck to what he promised – chatpata panipuri – and did not serve us a Coq au vin instead in peer pressure.

All I know is that I’m buying that large tub of popcorn, adding that extra dollop of butter, for I know, full paisa vasool ho hi jayega!

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